25 April 2013
James and I celebrated our 36th wedding anniversary in March this year. Time goes fast, but I still have vivid and fond memories of our wedding in Sheffield, England. It was a simple affair. Two young students, madly in love decided to tie the knot just because my English friend, Josie told us we could get some tax concessions! So we gathered our student friends, solemnized our union at the Civil Registry, cooked a big meal, (we even baked our own wedding cake!), and enjoyed a whole day of merriment - teasing, dancing, eating, laughing.
Now, before we know it, we are 'an elderly couple'. Marriage demands a lot from each party. Imagine having two different individuals to live under one roof. Forget about changing one another. Just accept the person as he or she is, because in acceptance, you learn to fit in like a jigsaw puzzle. I would say that the best way is to appreciate your spouse and see only his/ her good side. Oh yes, we have had our fair share of discontent, frustrations, anxieties as we faced the challenges of bringing up a family and building a career at the same time. But through it all, we grow in strength, courage, resilience and wisdom...and in our appreciation of one another. There were also the joys of seeing our children grow up; the pride we had when we see them graduating from University, the happiness we shared when they got married and now, the quietness of an empty nest syndrome.
I see my life now as having completed an Olympic race and won a gold medal! Just like all the Olympians standing on the rostrum receiving their Gold medals, the relief they felt, the pride in their hearts, the tears they shed, knowing that all that pain and sacrifice and the long hours of hard training put in, have not been in vain. I feel the same. Only ours have been a long 30+ years of race.....
I also see my life as having gone one full circle. Like our courtship days in Sheffield, we are now 'free' to go on dates, without having to rush back to feed the children or help them with their homework, - and, but with one difference: we have enough money in our pockets to spend and eat at any restaurants we like, unlike our 'poor' student days!
And did we get our tax concession? No, the process was too tedious...
The bonds of matrimony are like any other bonds.
They mature slowly.
-Peter DeVris-
21 April 2013
I have returned from my 15-day pilgrimage with a bad cough which my GP prescribed a further five days of antibiotics. I had already completed a seven-day course of antibiotics when I consulted a doctor in Spain. Many of my fellow pilgrims also fell ill, in part because Europe was experiencing an exceptionally cold Spring and most of the holy shrines we visited were either up in the mountains or in a valley surrounded by the Pyrenees. It was a trying time for many of us, a test of our constitution and of our minds.
In my last blog, I wrote that the goal of my pilgrimage is to strip off excess baggage. Have I succeeded? Am I 'lighter' now? Yes and no.
Yes, because I am consciously telling myself to live a simpler life, to always be grateful and not to be distracted by things that are not God; not to desire all the materialistic things blaring everywhere around us - in the shops, in magazines and newspapers and even on radio! One does not, after all need ten pairs of shoes or a half-dozen handbags! In keeping to this 'vow', I can contribute to a greener environment by not accumulating 'excesses'.
Yes, because in each of the churches we visited and celebrated Mass, I had prayed to our Merciful God to help me rid of the 'demons' in me, namely my ego, pride, greed, anger, self-righteousness. I imagine these being burnt and the ashes dissipated into thin air.
No, because of my human weakness. I still have my likes and dislikes of certain people and I still look at situations in a calculating way; all acquired from years of working with different kinds of people.
The upside now is that each time a negative thought comes my way, I am aware of my pilgrim vows, and would reason it in a spiritual way; to look at things objectively and from the other party's perspective. Yes, I hope to be a tangible witness of my faith, to be fair and wherever possible, to promote reconciliation and peace.
We have a God who loves us, and what better way to return that great love by doing things that are pleasing to Him each day and extending His blessings, so freely given to us, to the people we encounter in our daily lives.
Yes, this pilgrimage has given me a new direction; to be aware of the works of the Divine in and around my life; to continue to nourish my relationship with God and get close to Him through prayers, thanksgiving, acts of patience, forgiveness and love. We only need to sense His presence in our lives to know that He is our Living God, ever near us, to guide us, support us, lift us and lead us on our pilgrim way.
The greatest achievement is selflessness.
The greatest precept is continual awareness.
-Buddha-
24 April 2013
Today I noticed there was a big celebration in a temple along Tembeling Road in Singapore. Many devotees were there from early morning with flowers, oranges, joss- sticks and candles. The smoke from the joss sticks rising up into the air and surrounding the temple ceiling gave it a surreal cloud-like feel. As I walked in, I saw that the big laughing Buddha statue with two arms stretching up holding a big gold ingot actually has two sides to it, one facing the road and one facing into the temple. I have always looked at the side facing the road each time I walk past the temple because the sight of the laughing Buddha is so up-lifting, as though it urges one to positively go forward one's day with a smile, and to take life lightly.
Inside the temple, there were many representations of different deities. There was the great Buddha; the Goddess of Mercy ( even she came in two forms; one, the simple white-dressed 'Guan-Yin' standing on a lotus flower, with a jar and a pearl in each hand and the other, a Goddess with 18 hands). On the side-line, there were the courageous and righteous 'Guang-Gong' with his sword; and the honorable and moral black- faced judge, ' Bao Gong', often depicted in TV drama series as an upright and impartial judge. There were other deities which I could not tell, perhaps they were 'Arahans', the equivalent of Saints as in the Catholic Church.
As I watched the devotees, men and women, young and old, from all walks of life, each praying so fervently, each with their own petitions, I can't help but feel that we all share the same humanity; we need a 'Supreme Being', someone who understands our earthly problems, to help us in the burden of our daily chores; to give us peace and harmony; to help us understand our anxieties so that we can find solutions to them; and to give us hope and courage to carry on in our lives. Among the crowds, I am sure many were there to give thanksgiving for blessings received or a prayer answered. Some were meditating with beads; some holding candles and closing their eyes in prayer; some just looking intently at the deities with murmurings on their lips. As I sat on the same carpet on the floor with them, I felt I could spend all day there, just absorbing in the aura of a spiritual atmosphere. We are there together to connect to a loving and merciful God.
The best religion is the one that gets you closest to God.
It is the one that makes you a better person.
- Dalai Lama-
