On Marriage

25 April 2013

James and I celebrated our 36th wedding anniversary in March this year. Time goes fast, but I still have vivid and fond memories of our wedding in Sheffield, England. It was a simple affair. Two young students, madly in love decided to tie the knot just because my English friend, Josie told us we could get some tax concessions! So we gathered our student friends, solemnized our union at the Civil Registry, cooked a big meal, (we even baked our own wedding cake!), and enjoyed a whole day of merriment - teasing, dancing, eating, laughing.

Now, before we know it, we are 'an elderly couple'. Marriage demands a lot from each party. Imagine having two different individuals to live under one roof. Forget about changing one another. Just accept the person as he or she is, because in acceptance, you learn to fit in like a jigsaw puzzle. I would say that the best way is to appreciate your spouse and see only his/ her good side. Oh yes, we have had our fair share of discontent, frustrations, anxieties as we faced the challenges of bringing up a family and building a career at the same time. But through it all, we grow in strength, courage, resilience and wisdom...and in our appreciation of one another. There were also the joys of seeing our children grow up; the pride we had when we see them graduating from University, the happiness we shared when they got married and now, the quietness of an empty nest syndrome.

I see my life now as having completed an Olympic race and won a gold medal! Just like all the Olympians standing on the rostrum receiving their Gold medals, the relief they felt, the pride in their hearts, the tears they shed, knowing that all that pain and sacrifice and the long hours of hard training put in, have not been in vain. I feel the same. Only ours have been a long 30+ years of race.....

I also see my life as having gone one full circle. Like our courtship days in Sheffield, we are now 'free' to go on dates, without having to rush back to feed the children or help them with their homework, - and, but with one difference: we have enough money in our pockets to spend and eat at any restaurants we like, unlike our 'poor' student days!

And did we get our tax concession? No, the process was too tedious...

                  
                  The bonds of matrimony are like any other bonds.
                  They mature slowly.
                                                       -Peter DeVris-