One moment in Time

Whitney Houston's song 'One Moment in Time' sets my imagination alight. How I love to hear her powerful voice singing that song, so meaningful and inspirational. The song came so aptly on the radio as I was thinking of my father, who left us so suddenly on that fateful day of 27 July, 34 years today. 

If God could give me one moment in time in my life, what would I choose to do in that moment of time? I have the answer on hand without a second thought. Yes, I would tell God I would like to spend that time with my father. 

I have always felt sad that I had not spent enough time with my father. The link with him had only been letters between us during the years I was away studying abroad. On my return, I was caught up in my career and bringing up a family in a different country from where he lived. Yes, we take things for granted, thinking that we have time, and we tend to put off doing things until "later"; and before I knew it, he was gone. Many, like me do not know how to treasure what we have, until we have lost them. By then, it is too late. So it is with my father. There are so many things I want to tell him, so many experiences I want to share with him, but never made the time to do that when he was alive. Yes, in that one moment in time, this is how I would like to spend the time with my father:

First, I would give him a long, big hug and tell him how much I loved him, and would always love him. I would then tell him how grateful I am for his love and his vision to send me to school at a time when girls' education were of secondary importance and for that, he has helped shaped the career I had and the life I enjoy now. I would tell him that I am happy with James, and that our children, both married, are independent in their own lives and careers. Of course I would bring him to see my mother, now old but healthy and I will reassure him that she is well loved and well taken care of. 

I would take him to see all my brothers and sisters-in-law and tell him that they have not only succeeded, but have diversified and expanded the furniture and hardware businesses he left for them. I would gather all his 23 grandchildren and 8 great-grandchildren together to meet him so he knows that the family lineage carries on. This reunion calls for a big feast, a family celebration. I will prepare all his favorite dishes, one of which will be bak-kut-teh with the choicest meat, followed by the best Tieguanyin Chinese tea that he loves!

He would be happy to know that his youngest daughter and son, who were only in their teens when he passed on, are now successful business entrepreneurs. I would also take him to see my sister in Australia, and we will travel to London to see her children. I'm sure he would be surprised how the world has changed with the digital age and how small it has become, that family members or friends can be separated by vast oceans and seas and yet be connected so easily by a tablet!     

Last but not least, I would take him to China to see the remarkable changes in his homeland - the vibrant economy, the ever-changing skyline of the big cities, and yes, the amount of food there, so much that the Chinese people need not starve again! He would be thankful I'm sure, safe with the knowledge that all his brothers' children and grandchildren will have equal opportunities in life.  

But why do we have to wait until it is too late? Why not now? We only have the present moment to show our love and concern for the people who mean a lot to us, our spouse, our children, our parents, family and close friends. Yes, today and everyday, tell them that you love them; take your spouse out for a romantic meal even when there is no occasion to celebrate, just time together. Bond with your children, spend time with them, share family meals together, joke and laugh with them, talk and discuss the day's events with them. Hug them whenever, wherever you can, even when they have grown up. Visit your parents and reminisce the good old days with them. Catch up with friends over meals or drinks. Share company information and plans with colleagues so that you succeed as a team in the corporate world. On top of that, be grateful always and show compassion to the people who are less fortunate than you. 

You may not realize it now, but when the person is gone, the times that you have spent together will become your most treasured memories. You would have no regrets by then. You have given your best. 

As Whitney Houston sang:       "Each day I live,
                                              I want to be
                                              The day to give
                                              The best of me.
                                              Give me one moment in time, 
                                              when I'm more than I thought I could be
                                              when all my dreams are a heartbeat away
                                              and the answers are all up to me
                                              Give me one moment in time...
                                              

Now what would you do if you were given one moment in time...when you can turn back the clock...what would your wish be?                                             

                             

1914 - 27 July 1979

                              
                                In loving memory of my father, Yong Peck Lan